Solitary tears
by fiery-icicles
Summary: 1x2 Heero is acting strangely after a mission. Duo knows something is up. On one night, Heero confesses and bears his soul to Duo who does...? R


It was raining. Heavy storm clouds passed over the safe house in which only Heero and I currently resided in. The others were away on a mission. I had actually been here longer than my lover. Heero had only gotten back yesterday from a mission and he had been strangely silent the past two days. Not even did he make love to me last night.

I wish I had an idea of what was going on, but I really did not. Last night, he had just curled up to me and had gone to sleep and this morning found him sullen. He went around doing chores moodily and hardly spoke to me. I really was worried.

I was sitting in the living room, curled up on the couch with a book while Heero was sitting by the window staring out at the dark night. His eyes were blank, though they were searching for something out there. I couldn't tell what. I kept sneaking glances at him all night.

"Don't you ever get tired, Duo?" He asked suddenly, breaking the stifling silence. I looked up from the page that I had been staring at for the past hour without really reading anything and stared at him.

"Of what, Heero?" I asked gently, closing the book and laying it down. He had his face turned away from me, so I couldn't tell his expression even with the fire burning merrily in the fireplace.

"Of the war. Of killing. Of blood. Of...innocent lives..." The last part came out as a whisper and I was immediately alert. Since when did Heero sound so...vulnerable?

"There was a little boy." He continued in a strange hushed whisper. A little boy? "In that town. There was a little boy...and his mother. They were eating ice cream. I watched them, because I had time before I had to go in to set the bombs. They looked so...happy and...and so cheerful."

I sat up and watched him intently. He was still facing the window. I didn't say anything, I didn't dare breathe.

"When the bombs went off, I was outside watching the entire thing. And then...in the rubble, I saw the mother. She was...dead. And I didn't know where the boy was until he got up from behind a piece of debris. He wasn't...hurt. But when he found his mother...and he couldn't wake her up..." His breath hitched and he stopped struggling to regain control.

He turned towards the fire then. "...don't you get tired?" My heart clenched as I saw his eyes close and a single tear rolled down his cheek, glittering for all its worth. In a second I was by his side, catching the tear on my palm. He opened his eyes and looked at me and made to wipe the tear away from my hand, but I snatched my arm away.

"No, you don't. This tear is mine." I stated firmly and to prove my point, I brought it up to my lips and drank. His eyes widened at my action and he was motionless, emotions running through his eyes. He was so heartbreakingly beautiful then that I thought I would weep.

"My beautiful love," I sighed as I rested my forehead against his and closed my eyes. "Yes, I do get tired of it. Of war. Of blood. Of innocent lives. But we very well cannot give up, now can we?"

"What we are doing is for a good cause, Heero. We're not useless murderers. We have a purpose. We're soldiers. And if soldiers give up then what is left?"

Pulling him into my arms and tucking his head underneath my chin, I continued on. "War is horrible. But it cannot be prevented. And neither can we stop fighting. But we're not heartless. Nor do we have no emotions."

Placing soft kisses on top of his head, I murmured. "Today is the first time I've seen you so vulnerable. Today is the first time that you have _let_ me see you so vulnerable. Today is the day that you no longer have to hide things from me. I don't need protecting, Heero. I just need you."

He broke down them, tears flowing in great torrents. Harsh sobs tore out from him and he cried like I've never seen a human cry before. His breath hitching, gasping, he clutched frantically at me. And I let him. Never had there been a time that he had asked anything from me, but I would give him the entire world if it would make him happy. Hadn't someone said once that those who need protecting the most are generally the ones who protect? It was true after all.

I held him as he rode through the storm, letting out all the fears and sorrows that had been held back for fifteen years. I don't think he had ever cried before today, so damned if I was going to let him bottle his feelings up.

Slowly he calmed down, an occasional hiccup making its way out. I still held him tightly and he burrowed into my warmth welcomingly. Running my fingers through his soft hair, I hummed an old lullaby quietly, rocking him back and forth ever so slightly. I heard him sigh and settle against my chest and smiled.

"Thank you." I heard him murmur and I replied by pressing a kiss to his temple.

"You're very welcome, my heart." I hugged him closely, nuzzling his hair. "Bed?" I asked. He nodded and wrapped his arms around my neck, making me smile. Its not every day that Heero is submissive. I picked him up and headed off to the bedroom, with him smiling and purring contently in my arms.

It was still raining outside, but inside, the glow of Heero's rare smile made every thing light up.


End file.
